Actually, that isn’t entirely true. I don’t HATE the gym, I just don’t want to be there when I have other things I could be doing. Like knitting. Or cleaning out the kitty litter.
But I went back for the first time this week. They remodeled since I was there last & I’m not quite sure where things are.
It had been so long since I had been there that my iPod shuffle was completely dead. D.E.A.D. Dead. No music. But I had my Nook, so I tried to read.
There’s something about walking at 3 – 3.2 mph that renders me incapable of keeping my eyes focused enough to read. Even with the book set at large print.
So. No music. No book. There are other people in the gym. A lot of other people. Even though not one has looked my way, I feel like they’re judging me. They KNOW that I’ve let myself slip and slide down the slope to bad eating & no exercise. THEY CAN TELL.
They don’t know. They can’t tell. They don’t care. The others are busy doing their own working out.
I soldiered on. After 15 minutes, my hip was screaming at me. Angry bursitis screams. The kind that had me dosing up on 500 mg of naproxen when I got home. But I kept going. The original plan was to walk for 30 minutes, but I amended it to 2o minutes. It was SOMETHING. It marked my return to the gym.
Now I just need to make sure to keep my shuffle charged up and the music going. Because if I can sing along in my head, the trip to the gym is bearable. The music helps me forget there are other people there.
For inspiration, a few pictures I pulled off flickr today to remind me why I’m subjecting myself to this. Taken when I never thought I’d see the inside of a gym in the first place. These are not my finer moments, but they are reality.
And one taken more recently, but after I gained back 25 of the 40 pounds I had lost.
October, 2010. Even with the sunglasses, I can see the difference. It’s only 15 pounds, but it’s kind of huge here. I looked even better when it was 40. And hey, I look good for someone who had just walked 2 miles at 8,000 feet.
(For the curious, a picture of when I was 40 pounds down is here.)