The one where I am not motivated.

One of the changes to our health insurance at work is the implementation of a wellness program. If you join the program, you save $20/month on your insurance premiums, so it’s an incentive to join.

I completed their online “health risk assessment” & put in all my numbers and got my info back. Once you fill in the basic info, including height & weight, they ask if you’re happy with (insert whatever here), if you’d like help losing weight/eating better/managing stress, or if you’re unhappy but not willing to make a change right now. Kind of the Stages of Change model – where is this person & what can we do to encourage their growth & change. But not really.

After the weight/height information, I picked the second option – I’d like to try to lose weight, please give me tips. Except when I get to the end of the assessment & it gives you a place to set your goals, it claims I stated that I didn’t want to lose weight right now, but encouraged me to set a weight loss goal anyway because I’m a little chunky.* At which point I yelled at the computer screen because WHAT THE HELL, assessment? I totally said I wanted to lose weight. BASTARDS!

It’s possible I overreacted. I’m a little sensitive about the whole weight thing at the moment.

I did set the goal, but I’m unclear on how we actually get to update the information. Do we have to have someone else weigh us & update the info? Do they not trust us? (The answer is probably yes to that second one, as I’m sure there are people that will try to cheat the system. However, lying to the little screen where I say how much I weigh doesn’t help me get healthier.) There’s a benefits meeting in a couple weeks I’m going to during which I’ll ask all these questions.

I keep saying that I’m going to get back on track, but I don’t. I can’t seem to find the motivation. I need to recapture that feeling I had when I decided to try this all 2 years ago. I’m discouraged & I can’t figure out why. I know what has led me to regain some of the weight. I know that tracking my food really helps, even on the days when I don’t eat well. I can at least SEE where it went wrong on those days. I know that if I get into an exercise routine, it will be easier to keep going & that I’ll feel more energized and such. I KNOW ALL THIS. But I can’t seem to find that motivation that I had then.

I wish I could wave a little magic wand and the motivation would reappear, but I don’t think that will work. So instead, some small goals to help get myself back on track.

1. Eat at least 5 servings of fruits & veggies at least 4 days a week.
2. Exercise at least 3 days a week for 30 minutes at a time.

A related but unrelated goal was to cut out all soda. At this point mostly because it really exacerbates my acid reflux, but it will also be good in the long run to not have those extra calories. I’ve only had a couple lapses in the past few week, so that’s not going too badly. Sure it could be better, but since I drank A LOT of soda while I was on vacation, it’s not too shabby.

*It did not use these words exactly, but you get the point.