At knit night on Wednesday, Rachel brought in some pictures of her in high school. We talked briefly about how both of us thought we were SO FAT then, even though we were both about a size 16.
Whoa. I have been out of high school for 17 years. That is terrifying.
Anyway, I weighed probably 160-170 pounds in this picture, which is overweight, yes, but not nearly as fat as I thought I was.
I just wish that I could go back and tell 17 year old me that I wasn’t too big. I was just in an environment littered with tiny tiny people. I also wore clothes that fit instead of squeezing myself into jeans that were 1-2 sizes too small, which some of the other girls did.
I once signed up for cheerleader tryouts because I had energy to burn and school spirit out the wazoo. Except that I never went to tryouts because I figured I wouldn’t make it or that I wouldn’t fit into a uniform if I did. I regret that mentality now, I should have at least given it a try. I feared being made fun of for trying out*, so I decided not to.
There are so many things I wish I could tell high school Kara. If I could, I’d tell her:
- Try out for cheerleading. Just do it for the experience, even if you don’t make the team.
- Physical activity is your friend. Find something active you like to do.
- Talk to more people. Come out of your shell more. But don’t be obnoxious.
- Learn to flirt. Preferably with the boys that aren’t going to grow up and come out of the closet. Because no matter how nice they are, you won’t be dating.
- Being smart is not a bad thing. Neither is learning how to study, even if you don’t need to do it now.
- Peanut butter crackers are not a lunch.
- Don’t be so hard on yourself.
I would not want to go back and do high school over again, but it would have been more fun if I hadn’t worried so much about being the chubby girl and just had fun doing the things I wanted to do.
*although this same fear did not keep me from trying out for the dance team in previous years, even though there wasn’t really a chance I could make it on account of not being able to dance in time with other people.