I suck at dating.
I’m much more outgoing online than I am in person, at least when I first meet people. If you’ve ever been to a blogger or twitter meetup where I’ve been present, I’m usually the quiet awkward one in the corner who doesn’t say much. In fact, you may not even remember that I was there & reintroduce yourself to me the next time I show up. IT’S HAPPENED.
I’ve always been naturally shy, but got better about it in college. Even then, group projects and such were PAINFUL. When I did go out and try to meet new people & get into the college experience*, I often crossed that fine line between outgoing and obnoxious when I had to talk to new people.
Obnoxious? Not really the impression you want to give off. I’ve learned a lot in my 34 years on the planet and that is one thing I can say with certainty.
It pretty much goes without saying that I didn’t date much in college. Or grad school. Or after grad school. Or, hell, NOW.
I bring this up because I have been briefly toying with the idea of joining an online dating site. I have tried it and FAILED in the past. Oh, how I’ve failed. But I don’t know how to meet people, much less guys in my age bracket without kids**. I know a ton of people who met each other online and HELL, most of my friends are people I met online. But….
Online dating weirds me out. It feels unnatural. I don’t ever know what to say about myself. I especially don’t know what to say while I’m in this transitional stage of getting healthy/losing weight. Mentioning it at all feels braggy, but not mentioning it feels like I’m hiding a HUGE part of who I am right now. And those are just a couple of MY issues. Let’s not even get into some of the freakshows that actually try to talk to me. *shudder* I know that there are decent, kind, real people there. I know people who have gotten married after meeting each other at online dating sites. Even MY DAD met someone online. Probably close to 90% of my friends are people I met online. Yet the online dating is weird.
OMG. I just thought of this. What if the reason I get the freakshows is because there are not any single kidless 30-something guys around. The freakshows are ALL THAT’S LEFT. Crap.
*sigh* I am clearly not ready to take another trip into the world of online dating. But I sure could use an actual date sometime. I do love being able to hang with my friends & not feel like an extra wheel, but sometimes it gets lonely with just me and the cats.
*I went to a party school. That was the experience. I don’t know why I went to a party school with the intent to STUDY.
**I don’t know that I even want my own kids, and I sure don’t want somebody else’s. It sounds bad, but I know this about me right now & it wouldn’t be fair to anybody with kids to have someone who wasn’t comfortable with that around.