why do I question love

I was out for Kim’s birthday on Tuesday night when More to Love premiered, but I was still intrigued by the idea. So I caught the first episode on hulu last night after I got home from knitting.

I really need to get cable or satellite, people.

I know that the show is from the people who came up with the Bachelor/Bachelorette enterprise*, but I was really hoping for something a little more interesting. The biggest change? Instead of handing out roses to the girls who get to stay on, they get rings. Ugh.

The show wasn’t all bad, but it was questionable in how the girls were presented. Most of them were the chubby girls who felt like their weight was keeping them from having a relationship. There were tears and sad life stories about how they didn’t date because their weight kept them down. The interviews where the girls cried because they wanted to find someone made me sad, not because I felt bad for these girls, but because it made them look desperate. I would have said the same thing about the girls on The Bachelor, so it’s not just because they are chubby girls. But we (as chubby girls) need to do more to make us look strong and amazing and like a force to be reckoned with instead of looking like pathetic weeping messes.

There was at least one girl on there who had never been on a real date. While I was happy he kept her around for another week, I can’t see that she’ll be there long.  She’s young (21) and her occupation is listed as “plus size model”. And while I’m sympathetic to the “never been on a date” girl as I was in my early 20s before I went on a date, I can’t help but feel like she’s not quite ready for a super serious relationship. Mostly because she’s YOUNG. I am of the mindset that 21 is much too young for marriage and since that is what this show is supposedly leading up to, she’s too young.

Another issue I had was that one of the girls was 37. There is nothing wrong with having a 37 year old on a show like this in and of itself, but the guy is 26. That much of an age difference when the girl is older can be a problem, at least it can in my mind. I’m 5 years younger than this girl and 26 is too young for me. Then again, I am extremely picky (and hence still single), so what do I know?

There were a select few who proclaimed that they were happy with who they were – one of these girls is likely to be the one he chooses based on first impressions. I think that he kept all of these girls around, although I started to lose track of who said what after a while.

What did surprise me was that one of the girls that got sent home this first night is one that has been prominent in all the commercials and was even a big part of this first episode. She had a lot of camera time and I have to wonder why. Is it because she was one of the girls who cried in her interview, who said she “wanted that love story”? Was there not enough footage of the other girls who stayed around? I don’t know what was special about her other than her sad little story.

Overall, the show kind of pissed me off. Not in a bad way, but in the way that these girls were shown as kind of pathetic and desperate for love. It didn’t do them any great service to be on the show the way they were portrayed. I blame the editing, really, but the editors did have something to work with.

If I’m going to watch something like this, I want to see a show (with a better name than More to Love. UGH.) that portrays all the women on it as strong and confident. A show that doesn’t say that a girl is sad and lonely because she’s chubby. It’s time to stop blaming the weight and start accepting that most of us are larger than a size 2 and plenty of those average sized girls have found love. (I don’t know where they’re looking, but they have found it somewhere.) It shouldn’t be “special” that larger girls are looking for love. We’re ALL looking for love, people. But you have to accept who you are and everything that comes with that before you can find it.

*which has worked out SO WELL for everyone involved. There’s been, what, 1 actual marriage come out of the show? But that’s a discussion for another time.

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