can we see beyond the stars

Earlier this week I signed up for the bone marrow registry – there was a free enrollment drive at work & my coworker convinced the youngster & I to sign up (she’s already on the list).

As we walked into the registry area, I glanced at the weight chart – if you weigh too much, you can’t be on the registry. So last year at this time, I would have been too heavy – I wouldn’t have been able to join the registry. The top weight they could accept for my height was 233 pounds and I was 5 pounds over that limit. They look at BMI & you have to be under a 40 BMI (basically, not morbidly obese) to be able to join.

I was feeling ruminative earlier today about this whole thing – how my weight kept me from doing things even when I didn’t think it did. But whatever.

There are a lot of things I wouldn’t have done a year ago. There are a lot of things I couldn’t have done a year ago. The fact is that I’m changing my life. I’m going to be healthy. I have more self confidence now, I look in the mirror and think I look better. I look at pictures of me 40 pounds ago and can’t believe that was me. I believe in myself a little more. I feel like being able to conquer the fat means that I can conquer just about anything. It’s kind of weird.

Somebody make sure to slap me if I get to be too annoying with this stuff. :)


3 thoughts on “can we see beyond the stars

  1. not annoying at all :) you’ve come a long way. i’m so glad to hear that you’re happy and feeling confident. congrats!

  2. I agree with Mai, you have come a long way! I meant to say something Wednesday, but conversation had already moved on, as it seems to at Knit Night. Congrats! You’re doing great!

    It’s amazing how much difference even 10 pounds can make to energy levels, activity levels, mood, & just about everything. Once it starts adding up in multiples of 10, the difference is even more remarkable. I know just what you mean about weight keeping you from doing things.

    My daughter fell asleep in the car a couple months ago & when we got home, she asked me to carry her to bed. I was surprised I could carry her easily, but then realized that it wasn’t so surprising afterall. I’d been carrying that much extra weight around 24/7 not so very long ago. No wonder my knees had been bothering me when climbing stairs, & my feet had been bothering me if I stood for too long! I tried to imagine carting my daughter around all day, & couldn’t imagine being able to do it — nevermind that it is effectively what I was doing at nearly 60 pounds heavier.

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