here comes a better version of me

If you didn’t see my shout out on Facebook, I am now down 40 pounds. I am doing this slowly, but I hear that’s the best way to keep the weight off. :)

When I started this journey 8 months ago, my goal was to get healthy. I arbitrarily picked a weight I thought would be achievable, but weight loss was not the initial goal – being healthy was. I didn’t want to set a goal I couldn’t achieve, I didn’t want to set myself up for failure. So my initial goal was to get down to 175 by August of this year. I haven’t seen that weight since at least high school.

When I was down 30 pounds or so and I realized that I was actually losing weight, I changed the goal to get down to 150 by next January.

I am sure I’ve said this before, I know I’ve at least thought it, but it’s weird to see myself getting smaller. Having always been fat, I just assumed that I always would be. But 40 pounds, people*. I’ve lost a 6 year old! I definitely see the changes, especially in my abdomen/belly where I carry most of my fat.

I watched the finale of the Biggest Loser tonight (I won’t spoil it, but wow!) and as they showed the journeys of these people I was inspired all over again. I am 47.5 pounds away from goal and I want it. I want to lose that weight and be healthy and, dare I say it, smaller. Almost thin, even. I’m not quite halfway there but I can taste it now. I want to become that better version of me, healthier and happier.** I’ve done poorly on the food front the past few weeks and I need to turn it around and get back on track, but I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I’m just going to make those better choices and put the Dark Chocolate Chex Mix down.

So, that’s it. I want to be smaller. I already feel better, I look better, and I want to keep heading down that healthy path. I want to make this change permanent.

Now if I could only do something about this adult acne crap…

*I was talking about this over the weekend and honestly, I consider myself lucky that I’ve been able to do this. I’m averaging about 5 pounds a month, which is reasonable. But this is the first time in my life I’ve actually TRIED to make this change and lose weight. I’ve hit small plateaus, but made adjustments and overcome them rather quickly. I didn’t really try anything else and fail. I have tried this one thing – this one huge thing of an entire lifestyle change, yes, but it’s just one thing – and I’ve seen some results. It’s a lot of work, yes, but I’m still lucky that it’s worked so far.

**Not that I wasn’t happy… Well, I thought I was happy, but I wasn’t. I enjoyed myself and still do, but the weight drags you down even if you don’t think it does. It’s always there. And, being a girl, so much of everything is tied up in our body image. I never thought I was attractive and I attribute a lot of that to the extra weight I’ve carried with me my whole life. The process of losing the extra person is helping me change my image of myself, too.

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5 thoughts on “here comes a better version of me

  1. You were working it last night. And its true, even if people say the weight doesn’t keep them down the change in energy in just walking to the knit store is awesome…

  2. dude, you rock!! you’re doing so great :) congratulations on hitting 40 lbs and for getting healthy.

  3. I’m very proud of you. This is a huge accomplishment and I’m glad you find inspiration in The Biggest Loser. Those people are certainly inspiring to me. Such amazing dedication and determination.

    Kudos to you! Keep up the good work.

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